| Messing With The IRS
This story may or may not be true from experiences I may or may not have had with the
IRS if I ever did even work for them.
During my short employment tour with the IRS in the mail room, i've found several
harmless ways to mess with them and receive no recourse.
Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put a down the whole right
side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples
in the right side.
Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few
upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples rearrange your
paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side).
Line the bottom of your envelope with elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in you
forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by
hand.
If your very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two or three party check.
On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When
an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special
desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be read and stamped
regardless of what it is or what its on.
Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a
Kroger sack.
When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single EZ form). Big
envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added
bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can
hurry up and deal with your mess =)
If you send 2 checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half
destroyed form.
Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to
be removed and put away.
Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified and then date
stamped.
These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with the man. These
methods are only recommended when you owe money.
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