18> No longer signs paychecks in crayon.

17> That new "Mr. Happy Meal."

16> He's got McPubes.

15> Now prefers to be called Ron McDonald.

14> Distinctive odor of bourbon and stale cigars at personal appearances.

13> Two words: sagging buns.

12> Replacing floppy red shoes with floppy black wingtips.

11> Now offering "Happy Hour" Meals.

10> Traded in clown suit for long trench coat.

9> No longer asks women if they want to see his McNuggets.

8> Instead of size 46 shoe, now takes a size 62.

7> Gin has replaced make-up as his nose-reddener.

6> Hamburgler? Sleeping with the fishes.

5> Finally realizes that Pauly Shore isn't funny.

4> That telltale bottle of Clairol Fire Engine Red #4 in his shower.

3> Seen with Jack-in-the-Box at strip clubs stuffing fries down g-strings.

2> Three kids injured in unfortunate stubble incident.

and the Number 1 Sign That Ronald McDonald is Growing Up...

1> Has a McBeergut.